Mrs X

jbertili

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I have Complex-PTSD and suffer the usual consequences that sometimes makes it difficult to look after and cope with my emotional well being. I have had suicidal thoughts, but never actually been properly suicidal where there was a severe risk to my life, until ironically I got morbidly suicidal as a very rare side affect to a new DMard for my Psoriatic Arthritis. Despite having been in therapy and generally very clued up in mental health, there was nothing that seemed to cut through the fog of darkness that surrounded me. I was utterly convinced that it would be the best thing for my loved ones if I stopped being a burden on them and killed myself, also I could not see how I could live with the excruciating emotional pain I was in. Both my doctor and psychiatrist were away at the time and I didn't feel like I could talk to anyone. If it wasn't for the fact that I googled "how not to kill yourself" and happened upon a website for suicide prevention, which told me that suicide is a permanent solution for something that actually, no matter how awful it mig feel, is t permanent, postpone my suicide with 24hrs and make myself safe in the meantime, I would absolutely have committed suicide. The small down regulation the website provided gave my mind enough space to realise that this wasn't the normal me, and with a bit of research I discovered that suididal thoughts were a documented side effect of my medication in America, but not in Australia. I spoke to my rheumatologist the next day, came off the pills and started to feel better as the medication started to leave my body 24 hours later. It still took me weeks to feel normal again, but it clearly showed me the dark, desolate and desperate state you're in that makes you take the final step. If it hadn't been for that website I would be dead. Ironically my father committed suicide two months later, victim to psychosis caused by a brain tumour. To have an app like this that is personalised for you and used in conjunction with your therapist would be invaluable and save so many lives that now are lost completely unnecessarily. I hope you will reach your goal quickly, for you are true champions of humanity. I am only sorry I cannot pledge more at this time. Thank you.
Mar 02, 2016
Harnessing telemedicine for suicide prevention: a clinical trial
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