Gifts for Backers: Etched Steins in Limited Supply

 

The next 18 contributions of $50+ receive a stein etched with one of my Grampy’s mantras: “Everybody’s gotta be somewhere.”

My Grampy used to say, “Everybody’s gotta be somewhere,” expressing something like: “Huh, that’s weird. I don’t get it, but that’s okay. It’s cool.” I see it as acknowledging difference, accepting it, and affirming it. This can be a very useful mantra in dealing with new experiences and ones where you don’t really understand what’s going on. It applies when people don’t “get you” or you don’t “get them.”

And I think it applies to new college students and the difference education program I’m running, which uses stories from older students to help illustrate how personal background matters and that first-generation college students, for example, are likely to have a different experience transitioning to college than are their peers from families who have gone to college.

So, imagine you’re the first in your family to go to college and you’re feeling a lot pressure to succeed. Maybe your family is cheering you on, but there are likely other voices (internal and external to your head) saying “college isn’t for you; maybe you should just get a job close to home.” Say you and your roommate both get back your test scores from your very first college-level test. You are nervous. This is a big deal. You both get a C on the test. Your roommate reacts by saying, “Oh, no big deal. It’ll probably be graded on a curve.” They mention it to their parents briefly on a quick phone call. Their parents say, “Well, guess you should study more next time.” You, on the other hand, don’t want to say anything to your parents. You’re afraid you’ll let them down. You’re afraid that this is a sign of your future success. You’re afraid you can’t hack it. A few hours later, your roommate seems to be over it and is ready to go out, encouraging you to come too. They don’t get it. They don’t understand why you aren’t in the mood to be social. And you don’t understand why they are. You could let this knock you back on your heels, feeling more alone, more worried, wondering what’s wrong with you, whether you’re cut out for college. Or, you could accept that your experience is different than your roommate’s and decide that it’s okay. Everybody’s gotta be somewhere.

You could reverse the perspective of this scenario and the mantra works just as well. It’s a good way of thinking for a less anxious and a more accepting way of being.

Cheers to the next 18 backers pledging $50 or more! Next time someone leaves you perplexed, you could be drinking out of your new favorite stein thinking, well, “Everybody’s gotta be somewhere.”